And the Grinch's Heart Grew Three Times Bigger That Day......

I have always found it interesting that while I blog, people actually read it. It's an amazing concept, really it is. The really prodigious thing about the whole deal is that while I've been in the midst of a bit of a blogging-life crisis the last few months, there are those who have stuck with me, still lurking around the blog and reading when that magical new post does arrive. So thanks for still lurking, despite my blogging slackerness.

Last week, amid all my other obligations, I somehow caught this weird flu. Every morning I'd wake up and think, "Today I will be better. Today I will be better. Today I am going to MAKE myself feel better. The flu will succumb to my will." I don't know how well that strategy worked, but it sure made me feel like I was actually in control of the flu. Actually on Friday morning I had planned on playing a little volleyball with a friend of mine in the morning. By Thursday night I pretty much realized that I was not going to be able to will myself to attend any of my pre-arranged events, like bible study (we're doing Beth Moore's Bible Study on Esther:It's Tough Being a Woman, it's an okay study, interesting at times) or volleyball league, and I decided I had officially capitulated to the flu. But before I fell asleep for the night I thought, "I will make myself be better in the morning so I will be at volleyball in the morning." So I woke up bright and early at 7:30 on Friday morning and texted my friend, "I'm going to feel better in a couple hours so we can still play volleyball....."

By 9:00 she texted me back wondering just how exactly I was going to play volleyball with the flu. I began a text back informing her that all I needed was another half hour in bed and then I'd be on my way to feeling wonderful. Well, in the middle of that text I apparently passed out and fell asleep. Around 10:30 I woke up, phone in hand with my text still awaiting my approval to send, and needless to say, I didn't get any volleyball in that day.

But on Monday, I was feeling wonderful and even played volleyball and attended a ladies lunch at the church. After five days of practically no food in my body, I was starving, and while the chicken salad was great, I really wanted a cheese burger, a piece of pizza and maybe even a piece of chocolate cake. I finished my chicken salad before anyone had even really started on theirs and I said, "Man, you'd think I hadn't eaten in a week." My friend leaned over and said, "Ah, that's cause you haven't eaten in a week."

Right, right, I forgot about the almost week-long flu-imposed fasting I had just endured.

But today it was back to the drawing board. Yet I am prepared to beat the flu again by morning.

Maybe it was the incredible trauma of yesterday's not so uneventful ladies meeting that sent me over the edge.

So here's the story. Yesterday I'm sitting in the church fellowship hall with the ladies at the "ladies aid" meeting and I see my friends' kids running around heading to the nursery area. I begin to wonder why my kid is not running along with them, so I peak in the back area where they were previously watching a movie, and I see that Kaydn Rye is standing there in front of the huge television stand, and its beginning to fall forward on him. That that top heavy television stand with the huge television a top it has been a nightmare waiting to happen.

So I don't know how the thing started falling on him, but all I knew at that time was that there was a huge tv and tv stand about to collapse on top of my son. Meanwhile, my friend sitting next to me had just gotten up to take a phone call and I kind of forgot about her empty chair as I began my race to the back room. So I start to run as fast as I could to try and save Kaydn Rye from the television when all of a sudden I tripped and fell over that stupid empty chair. You heard me right, I fell flat on my face, completely collapsing the chair.



Not only that, but of course I then had to get completely tangled in the collapsed chair. Of course that would have to happen. Nothing like tripping over a chair and then topping it off by then getting yourself entangled in the chair. Keep in mind, by that time, I was screaming, "Kaydn, Kaydn," as I'm trying to free myself from the chair and everyone is like, "What in the world is she doing? And why did she just run into that chair?"

Nobody had any clue why in the world I proceeded to run full force out of my chair right into the chair next to me. But I did eventually get free from the chair and by that time every horrific possibility had crossed through my mind. I pictured a collapsed lung, a crushed spinal cord, a permanent brain injury, you name it and it went through my mind. In that moment I thought about how my life could be completely changed by the time I finally made it into that back room.

And when I finally got there, he was on the floor with both the tv and the tv stand completely on top of him. The television was covering half of his face and he was laying there sprawled on the floor with his leg bent in half. Instead of assessing the situation and making sure he didn't have a spinal injury before I moved him, I flung that television off of him almost across the room and scooped him up in my arms. Everyone finally realized what all the screaming and chair falling was all about and started freaking out about broken limbs and ribs. I kept thinking, "Who cares about broken limbs, I can handle that. He is not paralyzed and seems to have full lung function, so who cares about broken bones, really?

After that whole experience, while sitting in the backroom holding my screaming child, I seriously felt like sobbing. Now, keep in mind, I am not a cryer, I just don't cry. My soul may be completely broken, wrenched and torn, but to muster up some tears to show it on the outside is just something I no longer do. And if tears do somehow emerge, my eyes start spontaneously twitching in a last ditch effort to avoid the inevitable.

It had probably been years since I had cried, but all of a sudden I felt something wet on my face. I looked around and by that time everybody had given me the moment I needed to realign my zen after the television incident, so they were all back in the meeting, but I said to myself, "What in the world, I'm leaking. Who knew that was possible?"

A friend of mine then says to me, "Oh, the Grinch's heart just grew three times bigger......"

If my husband were to find out that I actually cried, he'd probably say, "Wow, it does leak after all. Who knew?"