No, not me - my jury verdict cases this week.
As you may know, I spend much of my days writing tort jury verdict summaries for a verdict publication.
Most weeks are full of slip and fall cases, malpractice cases with doctors operating on the wrong eye or the usual motor vehicle case (oh no, somebody bumped my bumper in the parking lot and now my entire body is paralyzed), you know, the usual stuff.
But dude, this week was really crazy.
First off, we had the case of the house party gone awry in New York City. Apparently the 19-year-old plaintiff offered to help out another, also under-aged teenage friend, at his birthday party, held at his mom's house. The kid claims that the mother of the birthday boy purchased a butt-load of alcohol for her kid to sell at this birthday party (don't worry, I don't write things like "butt-load" in my work summaries). She apparently told him that he could keep all the profit for his birthday present.
I know, I know, but it just gets worse.
The 19-year-old claims that the whole town ended up showing up and that he was cut with a knife while trying to break up a fight with some gang-bangers, as he describes them. He sued the mom for providing the alcohol that got everybody drunk, which led to a fight with a knife, which led to him getting sliced like a pepperoni. He won his case and hopefully the mother is in some kind of insane asylum right now.
And if that wasn't gorgeous enough for you, I then stumbled upon the case of the escaped mental patient. The girl in this case (another teenager, what is going on with all these crazy teenagers??) kept running out of the mental institution she was living in and into the nearby lake while claiming she was going to kill herself. The police kept having to haul her out of the lake and back into the mental institution. She finally gets tired of trying to pull a Virginia Woolf and decides she is now going to kill herself by jumping off a balcony at the mental institution.
Apparently the fall wasn't much because she jumped and they just hauled her back to the mental institution. The next night she must have been much more serious about it because she found a much higher balcony to jump off of and ended up causing a burst fracture in her spine. As her attorney explained, "there were bone fragments flying everywhere."
The mother of this girl sued the mental institution for not locking her in her a room where she couldn't run into the lake or off a balcony, and they won like millions of dollars.
But the really crazy part of this story, after a million spinal surgeries, the girl is just peachy fine today. Crazy.
Oh, and we can't forget the tummy tuck in which the lady stated she was "gutted like a deer" by her plastic surgeon. This one was earlier in the week so it's a little fuzzy right now, but essentially the lady had gastric bypass and needed to get rid of all that saggy skin you see on those Fattest Man and Woman shows on TLC. And she apparently was hoping to go from fattest woman to Kate Moss status in record time.
The surgery in question was one of many for this lady and despite attempts by her plastic surgeon to talk her out of another surgery, one in which she wanted to have her belly button removed, she insisted. According to the doctor's attorney, "this lady thought it would kind of sexy to not have a belly button."
So the plastic surgeon performed the surgery, got rid of the excess skin and ditched the belly button, all while the lady was under local anesthesia in the guy's office. At first our little Kate Moss in the making thought that was a great idea - ditch your belly button and head back to the office that afternoon - but I guess it's not just the thought that counts.
She sued the plastic surgeon for malpractice, claiming that she could feel all the tugging and pulling on her skin and that she felt "gutted like a deer on the operating table."
She lost her case.
So, good times were had by all this week in the world of jury verdict summaries.
So how was your work week??
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3 Reactions:
Your cases make for some interesting reading!
I remember working for an attorney years ago - he used to work for the Public Defender's Office and still occasionally took an assignment or two.
THAT was really interesting reading as well.
There's always a topic of conversation when stupid people are involved.
haha, your job sounds great!
What was that boys mother thinking? What a nut case! Thank God the boy had a BIT of sense to put her in her place.
The mental institute is totally at fault there. I mean, even if she IS fine today, they should have locked her up, since she was a danger to herself. Not let her do it every night.
I don't know what to say about the tummy tuck. Why wouldn't you want your belly button?
You certainly get some interesting cases.
Why on earth would someone thing having no belly button was a good idea?
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