Pioneers, Nerf Guns and Maybe We'll Have 10 Kids.

Today has been rife with nothingness, some much needed nothingness. As usual, ever since we moved back to the frozen tundra from the wonderful humidity of Memphis, I have been the victim of the Mucinex monster, as described by Kaydn Rye. I think the first time he saw that mucus commercial he actually had a nightmare.

I sometimes wonder, especially in all my free time sitting on the couch this week sucking snot up my head, how did people with sinus infections survive before nose spray? Like when archeologists find the diaries of North Dakota's pioneering Norwegians living on the prairies in he 1900s, you never find any kind of entry like, "Ma's real sick. Her nose is pretty plugged and she's got a lot of post nasal drippage. I don't think she'll make it through the night." Really, maybe to the pioneers things like sinus infections didn't hold a candle to things like malaria, smallpox, pneumonia, polio, typhoid fever.



But things are looking up around here. Yesterday when I woke up it was 26 degrees, roughly the same temperature in Memphis. What the heck is going on in the world? I think Al Gore's global warming has passed.

And because it was a balmy 20 degrees today, Kaydn Rye and I went around the block with his nerf gun. The other night, my mom got him this little nerf gun that shoots little suction cup styrofoam darts, and dude, that thing has been driving me crazy. You have to cock the gun to get it to shoot the darts, and Kaydn Rye could not get that thing cocked to save his life. I was even having problems with it. So every other minute it was, "Mom, can you cock it for me?" Uffda. Totally defeats the purpose of buying your children toys. You buy them toys so they're not bothering you all day for stuff.

Well, he eventually figured it out, but he was getting a little antsy, so I told him I'd take him outside with his gun. And since the town of Kenmare has more cats than people here, and because said cats are always peeing on my front porch and on the snow in the backyard, I told him we could go looking for cats to shoot in the butt. I'm so sick of Gertie rubbing her face in the snow and ending up smelling like a litter box. And now he wants to take his "gun" to church tomorrow. I told him that guns don't belong in church unless you're a radical Islamic.

And after 20 minutes of walking around the block, we of course didn't see a single cat. Since all the snow is actually melting around here with the heatwave and all, in the big snowbank on the corner I found my long lost glove from two months ago. And we found the carrot from our wonderful snowman, who is now dead.



Oh, and then I sat on the couch and vegged on mindless infomercials. With our five channels it's either the Catholic channel or the Home Shopping Network, both of which are equally bad for one's mental health.

Did you know that Billy Mays has now revealed the source of all that infomercial energy, an energy drink that he is now peddling with an always wonderful infomercial.



After all that I finally felt lucid enough to do some reading in my Successful Homeschool Family Handbook by the always elucidative Dr. and Dorothy Moore, from like the '70s. Gotta love he Moores. Beginning homeschool feels like I'm traipsing through Afganistan, one screw up and I'll wreck the kid for life. And all the families in their handbook have like 10 kids, kill their own chickens in the backyard, and the mothers all confess that they haven't done housework in 10 years, what with 10 kids and all to use as slaves. I have big shoes to fill, especially since I only have the one kid, of course.

And then I took a much needed nap since my snot has been keeping me up all week, and I woke up to hubby's wonderfully cooked taco casserole in the oven. I don't even remember the last time he cooked.



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