Confessions of a Three-Year-Old

You may have noticed that last week was a little lacking in the Confessions of a Three-Year-Old department, and that was because, well, the three-year-old wasn't around here much the week before. Because we had a Kaydn Rye-sized hole in our bathroom floor for quite some time, he stayed at my mom's house until the hole was taken care of. I'll tell you more about the hole when I have time, probably tomorrow. I think I might join a meme tomorrow.... Oh the horror! Shock! Dismay!

Anyway, but the kid came back and thus, we have more confessions.

I was not personally present for this one, but my mother is usually a good source, so we'll go with it.

Apparently when Kaydn Rye was at my mother's house she asked him if he wanted to say grace before lunch one day. Keep in mind, he has memorized the table prayer we say before every meal here, so he is the "pray-er" now. But we don't use the term "grace," we just say, "Are you gonna pray?"

So when my mom asked him to say grace, he said, you guessed it, "Grace."

She thought he was just being ridiculous, so she said it again, "Come on Kaydn, say grace."

And he said it again, "grace."

By this time everyone realized that he WAS saying "grace" just as he had heard it plain as day from my mother.

Moving on.

Everyone knows that the little guy is our super-anal, germophobe, super organized OCD child, but lately weird things have been happening. For instance, this is what I usually find when I come into his room. He has a thing with lining up all his cars in rows.



And this is what he usually spends his weekends doing.



It was really beginning to get scary during our last trip to the mall, which was probably three or four weeks ago now. He had just gotten some new transformer toy/thing with some money that my mother had given him, and as I was going from store to store he kept dropping the thing. And every time he'd drop it on the floor we had to immediately rush to the restroom to wash off the germs.

And for awhile there, every time hubby would come out of the bathroom Kaydn Rye'd ask him, "Now did you wash your hands?"

That all started to change one night when I made the mistake of telling him that he "didn't touch the potty so we didn't have to wash his hands."

Big mistake.

It was about 1 o'clock in the morning, and I was working through our usual ritual of waking him up and taking him potty one last time before I go to bed. If I don't, he is absolutely soaked in the morning, I don't know why he saves all his pee for when he's sleeping. And when he's in the bathroom at 1 o'clock in the morning he's usually a zombie, so I pull off his pants myself, hoping he doesn't fall over, and I physically hold him on the potty so he doesn't fall off. Because I always hold his hands in his lap, I don't usually mess with the washing of the hands because it just ends up actually waking him out of his zombi-ness, and I don't want him to have a hard time going back to sleep because that would mean that I inevitably have a hard time going to sleep, and we can't have that.

But that night he must have been partially conscious because he asked me why we weren't washing his hands. I told him why, and now I have created a "reasons-for-why-I-don't-have-to-wash-my-hands" monster. So for the last week I have been re-programming his mind with fears of potty germs. Hopefully it works again.



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