Adventures in Edible Gifts

Our bake fest is now complete and I am not setting foot in my kitchen the entire weekend. Everybody is going to be living on Progresso soup and peanut butter and jelly until probably Monday.

We decided to give my grandparents edible New Year's gifts this year. Oh yeah, by the way, did I mention that we don't exchange Christmas gifts, we give New Years gifts. Anyway, we have a little get together at our house on New Years and Kaydn Rye opens his presents. We eat, we exchange some presents, and then the day is pretty much over. But I don't know if my grandparents will be able to make it to our house on New Years so we just gave our presents to them when we saw them yesterday at my aunt's house. And for some reason over the last few years I have become one of "those people," the ones who end up finishing a project only at the last possible minute before it absolutely needs to be completed. I don't know how it happened.

My first few years of college I used to be that person who had their papers done like a week before they were due. I'd be in the library glued to a table with my laptop and a book and everybody would be like, "Dude, what are you working on?"

I'd say, "I'm working on that paper for American Lit," or something like that. And they'd say, "Dude, that isn't due for like three more days, what in the heck are you working on that today for?"

So anyway, after that walk down memory lane, the moral of that story was that somewhere along the way I went to the dark side. I don't know. You can ask any editor I've ever written for, I have serious issues getting things done on time.

Which is why I was wrapping our edible gifts about the same time we were already supposed to have been at my aunt's house. Since my grandpa loves to nibble on Thin Mints I found a recipe that is pretty much a thin mint cookie and Kaydn Rye and I started on them on Wednesday.

Here's the recipe:

PEPPERMINT PATTIES

1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 tablespoon peppermint extract
6 cuts powdered sugar, plus additional for kneading filling
1 1/2 pounds chocolate-flavored candy coating, melted (I don't know what the point is for the fancy adjectives, but this is just melted chocolate almond bark)
food coloring is optional

Directions
1. In a large bowl combine the condensed milk, peppermint extract and optional food coloring. Add 6 cups sugar and beat on low speed until smooth and well blended. Turn the mixture onto a surface sprinkled with powdered sugar and knead lightly to form a smooth ball. Shape into 1-inch balls. Place 2 inches apart on wax paper-lined baking sheets. Flatten each ball into a 1 1/2-inch patty.

2. Let dry 1 hour or longer; turn over and let dry at least 1 hour. With fork, dip each patty into warm candy coating. Put them back on the baking sheets and let them sit and firm. Store covered at room temperature or in refrigerator.

Of course, Kaydn Rye had to dip them and pull them out of the almond bark, so most of them ended up looking pretty crazy. If he missed a spot I'd just go around and plop a dollop of chocolate on the spot, but almond bark does not blend well, I can testify to that, so ours definitely have character. But my grandpa can't really see very well anyway, so he won't even notice that they look a little funny.

We also dipped pretzels in the almond bark for chocolate-covered pretzels, which Kaydn Rye could eat all in one sitting. I would have snapped some pictures of our wonderful holiday baking/bonding time, but seriously, I didn't even fix my hair and put makeup on until 4 o'clock. And I was still in my pajamas until about 4:30. Nobody needs to see that. And the crazy thing is that even though our house right now is filled with every kind of cookie imaginable, instead of grabbing a cookie for dessert, after lunch Kaydn Rye usually just grabs a Starburst out of the candy jar. What the heck is up with that?



For my grandma, we made popcorn balls. My grandma and I both LOVE popcorn balls. When we arrived at my aunt's house last night, I also brought a tray filled with some extra popcorn balls, extra mint cookies and a whole bunch of chocolate-covered pretzels, and before my grandma saw that I had a whole bag full of popcorn balls just for her, she went straight for the popcorn balls on the tray. She does not waist any time.

Here's the recipe I used for popcorn balls, and I pretty much did this one on my own. Kaydn Rye had to take a nap before we left or we'd be in melt-down city, so while he was sleeping I did the popcorn balls. And besides, he would have never helped to shape them because it gets seriously messy. Your hands have to be smothered in shortening pretty much the entire time your shaping them and Kaydn Rye does not deal well with messy hands, so he would not have been all about the popcorn balls.

Here's the recipe:

POPCORN BALLS (The Best Ever)

To do this right, you have to make the popcorn on the stovetop, which I had never done before. It was definitely an adventure.

For every cup of popcorn you put 6 tablespoons of oil in the bottom of a 4-quart pan on the stove. To match the right amount of sticky sauce I used about 2 cups of popcorn.

1. Put the oil in a heavy pot and let it heat over medium heat for at least 30 seconds.

2. Stir in the kernels, turning with a spoon so that they are evenly covered with oil, then spread them in one layer on the bottom of the pot.

3. Cover the pot leaving a small space at the edge for escaping steam. As soon as the first kernel pops, move the pot gently and continuously back and forth over medium-high heat until the popping stops. (This is important)

4. Turn in a bowl and begin the sticky sauce.

Sticky Sauce
Ingredients
3/4 cup light corn syrup
1/4 cup margarine ( I use Blue Bonnet, for everything I make)
2 teaspoons cold water
2 5/8 cups confectioners' sugar (powdered sugar - what's with the fancy names all the time)
1 cup marshmallows

Directions
1. In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the corn syrup, margarine, cold water, confectioners' sugar and marshmallows. Heat and stir until the mixture comes to a boil. Carefully combine the hot mixture with the popcorn, coating each kernel.

2. Grease hands with vegetable shortening and quickly shape the coated popcorn into balls before it cools. Wrap with cellophane or plastic wrap and store at room temperature.

That's it. It only took me about an hour to complete the whole popcorn ball-making experience. I sneaked one off the goody tray and it ROCKED. I am a popcorn ball making rockstar.

So what did you all make this year??




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The Lefsa Making Is Complete

You may be wondering where I've been, and no, I haven't fallen off the face of the frozen end of the earth, which for those of you who haven't been reading this blog, is better known as North Dakota.

I have been making lefsa.

Yes, lefsa.

The time-honored tradition of lefse making has been passed down through generations of Norwegians settled in the Midwest. Lefsa is a traditional Norwegian flatbread, and for anyone who has ever wondered why it is that Norwegians have so much gas, lefsa explains it all.

When we lived in Mississippi I was so amazed at all the fried chicken-eating Southerners who had no idea what lefsa is. Hubby, a native Idahoan, didn't even know what lefsa was until his first Christmas here in North Dakota.

Lefsa has made an appearance at every Thanksgiving and absolutely every Christmas dinner since before my great-grandparents were even a twinkle in the eyes of their parents back in the homeland of Norway, or the mothership as I like to call it.

My hubby's first reaction to lefsa was, what am I supposed to do with this? His actual words were, "It's a tortilla, what's so great about smothering a tortilla in butter and sugar."

But then, you take a bite, and it's like a little piece of the heaven that is the Norwegian countryside.

You smother it in butter, you cover in sugar, then you roll it up and eat it. It's hmm hmmm good.

But you must be accepted into the cirle before you are allowed near the flip stick. The flip stick is the official lefsa making tool, and it is sacred. There is no "Oh grandma, can I try, can I?" There is no trying. If you are not ready, then you're not ready. Do or do not, there is no try.

Yoda was definitely a Norwegian.



My grandma is usually the one who makes the lefsa loaves consisting of mashed potatoes, butter, flour. Then the loaves are made into "lefsa balls" that are rolled out to the thickness desired by grandma. Then comes the tricky part. And boy, if you mess up, the lefsa gods are there to punish you via the wrath of grandma.

Once the lefsa is rolled out, then it must be rolled onto the flip stick and put on the lefsa grill. There is it grilled into wonderful bubbly goodness and placed in between two dishtowels, usually hand embroidered by my grandmother.



I don't know why we only have lefsa at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but once in November and once in December, my mom, my aunts and my sister all gather around the lefsa grill at my grandma's house to make lefsa. And believe me, if you don't help with the lefsa making, you don't eat the lefsa. My grandma takes no prisoners when it comes to lefsa.

So, with our lefsa in hand, it is a Happy Festivous!




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Confessions of a Three-Year-Old with Jesus and More 20 Below Zero Weather

This week’s Confessions of a Three-Year-Old (Courtesy of Mary at NotBefore7) is all about Jesus and 20 degrees below zero weather.

Jesus is of the upmost importance to Kaydn Rye at this point in his life because He is the healer of the various aches and pains that seem to occur during bedtime, dinnertime, pick up your toys time and of course, bath time.

There’s the “Mommy, I have a tummy ache” when he doesn’t want to eat his chicken pot pie at dinner, and there’s the, “Oh, I have a headache, so I can’t make it up the stairs to get in the tub,” and then there’s “Mom, Mom, Mommmmmm, I have a leg ache,” when he should be asleep in his bed.

During last week’s episode with the leg ache in bed, I told him I’d pray that Jesus would heal his leg ache and take them away forever.

We prayed, he felt better and I laid him back down in his bed. As I went to shut the door Kaydn Rye asked, “Will Jesus still stay with me in my room in case the ache comes back?”

How absolutely priceless is that?

Oh, and lately there's been the “Where is Jesus going to sit at the table?” question that happens just about every night while we’re setting the table.

That all started last year at Passover (Oh yeah, by the way, did I mention that we celebrate the biblical feasts?). During the Passover seder we save a place for Elijah at the table in case he comes back for the seder. You’d think that waiting for some dead guy to resurrect would seriously freak the kid out, but he’ s really into it. And now, not only do we save a spot for Elijah, but we’ve got a spot for Jesus too. The one day as we prayed “Come Lord Jesus be our guest,” I guess he thought, “Well, if Jesus is our guest, then where’s he going to sit? Again, apparently the resurrection of a dead man doesn’t completely bring up images of Night of the Living Dead for the kid.

Now it would nice if Jesus would save us from the sub-freezing temperatures in my office. Yesterday it was 20 degrees below zero outside. And that wasn’t even with the wind chill. Seriously, it was like you couldn’t even breathe outside yesterday. But today’s a heat wave, it’s like 10 below and everybody’s walking around downtown with their jackets wide open.

We have the fireplace going and the heat turned up so it’s nice and cozy inside, but my office is a definite exception to the coziness. When we moved in I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put my office in the sunroom addition. It’s a huge addition right off the kitchen and the dining room so it was just begging to be transformed into my official office space. And Kaydn Rye has serious issues with being alone, so we needed a room that was big enough for the both of us. He’s got his famed Nintendo in there, his puzzles, his toys, his big horse, and of course, all of my office stuff.

The one thing that isn’t in the sunroom is a heating duct, so we heat it with our two space heaters. But you won’t even guess what the temperature was in there yesterday.

It was 32 degrees in there when I got up yesterday. What in the world? I finally got it up to 50 degrees for like an hour in the afternoon, and then it went right back down to 32 degrees. I ended up trying to get some work done on the computer in my coat and gloves but I finally just finished up some interviews I had to do on the phone in the kitchen with the folding table and my 85 year-old laptop with the missing space bar key.

Oh, and not only does Kaydn Rye know all about Jesus, but he apparently knows the days of the week too. Last Sunday he got in some serious trouble and hubby grounded him from Super Mario Bros for a week. I guess hubby assumed that after the week was up maybe he’d just forget about Luigi and Mario and move on with his life. Instead, on Sunday, exactly one week after the original grounding sentence, he says, “Hey, I’m not grounded from Nintendo anymore am I?”

Hubby and I both just looked at each other and started laughing. Then of course Kaydn Rye thought he was the funniest comedian on the planet and proceeded into the 32 degree sunroom. So he spent his Sunday night in his coat, hat and boots in the sunroom playing Nintendo.

And he came back for more misery yesterday so he could play computer games. Here’s him in the sunroom with his coat and hat on.



I’m seriously going to throw myself in the lake if this weather doesn’t become more reasonable. I swear, why in the world do people actually live in North Dakota? Are they absolutely insane?





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Infomercial Mania in 15 Below Zero Temperatures

This morning we didn't have church because it was 15 degrees below zero and there was about 10 feet of snow on the ground, which is why I'm still wondering why in the heck people actually live in North Dakota. So, instead of heading to church, we lounged around on the couch watching infomercials and the home shopping network, which is pretty much all that is ever on now that we about five channels on our tv.

But guess what was on. I have wanted this thing for, like, ever.

It's the Cricut. I so want one of these, and the infomercial is great. "For as little as $30 you can try out the Cricut in your home for 30 whole days!"

But what they don't tell you is the price. The model I want is $300.

$300.

For a glorified paper cutter. Still, I gotta have one.

I actually kind of hope that someone comments about how they have one and how crappy it is just so I can feel better about not having one.

The weird thing is that even though I absolutely hate shopping, seriously, I hate it, for some reason I love infomercials. Dude, you couldn't pay me enough money to spend a day at the mall, but it sometimes takes every ounce of my being to avoid getting off the couch and dialing QVC in a furry with my debit card in hand.

Let's see, there was the Magic Bullet, that's the informercial with all weirdos, half of them hung over, sitting around the kitchen waiting for the perky lady to whip them up a magical food concoction.



That ended up getting returned because I could never figure out how to make anything edible with the stupid thing. Way too complicated.

And then there was the QVC car/truck vacuum that was supposed to be able to suck up an elephant butt but still store easily under the seat. That thing stopped sucking after one use in my Durango. Either my dirt weighs more than an elephant butt or it just really sucked.

And then there's pretty much every work-out video known to man. I am addicted to work-out videos.

Oh, and you can't forget Jack LaLanne's Power Juicer. That thing actually blew up in my kitchen. It made good juice though.

But to my credit, I did pass on the Kinoki foot pads. I was so proud of myself.

Now I'm secretly in love with Billy Mayes. I need to get my hands on some of that Mighty Mend-it, oh, and don't forget about the Mighty Putty.

And Billy Mayes is totally hot.

And I gotta get one of those Shamwows. It's a bathmat, a towel and a dish drain mat all in one, you can' go wrong with that.


But I think my next infomercial purchase will probably be the GT Xpress. Who can live without a gadget that can make a beef roll and a brownie back to back?


I don't know, I should probably invest in some Aqua Globes before I purchase anything else.

I seem to be killing all my plants lately. Kaydn Rye is actually the one who suggested the Aqua Globes one day. He saw the commercial on tv and said, "Hey mom that's what you need for your plants so they don't die anymore."



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