Really Confessional Thursdays

Today, at my prophetic ministry class, I had a huge revelation. But I'll have to begin by telling you about our new house before I get to the revelation...trust me, you'll get it in the end.

So I just realized that I haven't told you about our new house. Right now we live in a larger town about 45 minutes from the farm I grew up on. But right now my husband works in the itty bitty town where I went to high school(for those of you who aren't acquainted with this little blog, my life just went to the far end of crazy since we moved from where I thought I would spend the rest of most of my life, South Dakota, back to my hometown of all places, North Dakota, oh and by the way, we moved to South Dakota from Mississippi, which is of course my dream climate, and we moved to Mississippi from Minneapolis, where I went to college - got that straight??).

So the house we've been living in since we moved here last fall is an older, beautiful home in the old historic district of town. It has all the old woodwork, and I could go on and on, I just love our house, and our neighborhood.

The only problem is that we are not able to purchase the house like we thought we were going to when we moved in.

So, we've been looking for a new place. And while in the midst of all of this househunting, I got a revelation from G-d that we would be living out of town, like way out. Which, me being a city girl at heart, I was a little flipped out about at first, but I eventually embraced that.

The only thing I didn't know is that G-d meant wayyy out, like way out. So we found a house in a town 55 minutes from Minot, which is where we live now. Hubby loves the thought of how he will be closer to work, but for me, I'm now going to have quite a commute every week to keep the lifestyle I have here in Minot. And all my friends are here, my life is pretty much here in Minot. I do a lot of work out of the courthouse here and Kaydn Rye loves his activities at the YMCA here, and I could go on and on.

But getting past that, we put an offer on the perfect house 55 minutes away from Minot, in a little town called Kenmare. I fell in love with the house and the land it sits on.

The only problem - once we were about a month into the contract to buy it, the seller then refused to sell us the house, despite our contract. He even paid us money to get out of the contract. Crazy. Just crazy. The guy's insane. But whatever, we just moved on.

I just couldn't believe that we were not supposed to move into that house. I thought I felt G-d writing in huge letters on the side of the house when I first saw it, "THIS IS YOUR HOUSE!!!"

And it was so crazy how I even found the house. I had found a different house in Kenmare, while I was online on a real estate web site. Everytime I'd see this house online, I'd say to myself, "Man, I wish I could move that house to Minot." I eventually told hubby about it, and he was like, "We gotta go see that house." I thought he was insane. But after mulling over it for awhile, I found myself meeting the realtor at the house for a tour. It was like something out of the twilight zone that I was looking at a house in this town truly in the middle of nowhere.

So when I got to the house, I ended up hating it. Really. I did not like it. But I was there with my friend Jen (names have been changed to protect both the innocent and the guilty) and we ended up just driving around Kenmare for a little while. On the way out of town I spotted a for sale sign by this house nestled on a wooded lot on the edge of town. Jen and I just looked at each other and I immediately called the listing realtor. We went through the house and I knew that it was mine. We placed an offer, we were going to get a great deal on it, and then all of a sudden we found ourselves in this strange situation with a seller who was refusing to sell the house to us.

So the day we knew we had lost the house, hubby ended up calling the realtor to see if he had any other listings. The realtor said he had actually just received a new listing on a comparable house in Kenmare.

The next day I went to look at the house and we now have a contract on that house. It's a turn of the century home that is absolutely beautiful.

But in the midst of all of this, I could not understand why in the world we had to go through all of the crap on the first house. I loved that house, it fit our family and it was the perfect price for us. So what in the heck was the point of all that?? I laid awake at night wondering what in the world the point of that whole side trail was all about.

But tonight I figured it out.

In the midst of the first contract going sour, I kept pushing it and pushing it, trying to make it work with the seller. I just could not let go of that house. And I thought I had heard so clearly from G-d about that house. And really, if I ever have any doubt about which direction G-d has in mind for us, I have always just kept pressing and pressing what I think is the best for us, knowing that if it wasn't, G-d would just keep shutting doors and open a new one. Which is exactly what happened here. Doors kept closing but I would not let go until there were absolutely no more doors to close.

The revelation about all this??

G-d blatantly told me that He is bringing me to a level of communication with Him - one in which I must take the time to hear His voice rather than just wait for Him to close door upon door. G-d now expects me not to operate in self-will but to listen, listen, listen.

So I have my listening ears on.