Odd Tales from the Night

Do you ever think that there's something odd going on in your house?
Just the other night, I think it was maybe last Friday or Saturday night, I'm getting out of the bathtub, and as Brandon walks into our bedroom, he thinks he smells smoke. I walk into the bedroom and tell him it's probably coming from outside, since the smell of smoke isn't unusual in our neighborhood. Quite a few people have outdoor grilling pits in their backyards, and on the weekends it's not unusual for people to fire em up.
So I go outside to see if something smells out there. Negative.
And when I go back upstairs in to the bedroom we both start to realize that it smells like something is on fire, more specifically, it smells like old, musty wood, which is alarming since our house was built in oh, somewhere around 1915. The smell seems to be the strongest in the corner by our bed so we think maybe there is some wood just smoldering in the wall, or in the attic. So Brandon hoists himself up to the crawl space to get into the attic but see no signs of fire. We feel around in the walls for hot spots and find nothing. I tell Brandon to call the fire department, which he thinks is ridiculous. I tell him he'll feel real bad in the morning for not calling them when our house is burning down and we can't get Kaydn Rye out of his bedroom, which is just on the other side of ours.

And, yes, I am aware that's not the nicest of thoughts, but I don't want to the be person thinking for the rest of my life that I could have foregone the experience of my son burning in a fire if only I had checked into the smoldering wood in the wall.

So Brandon goes downstairs, to call the fire department I thought, and crazy enough, I fall asleep in bed. He comes back, I don't know how much later, since I'm still asleep, and it turns out he went downstairs to use the bathroom down there, and then he went to sleep. How crazy is that? But the house is still here and I have no idea what that smell was.

Part II of Crazy Happenings
Just a few nights later, Brandon and I are laying in bed about to fall asleep when we hear a really loud bang, like someone just slammed into the side of the house. I rule out that it was Kaydn Rye falling out of bed, as he never made a peep, and Brandon grabs the shotgun, in his underwear, and proceeds downstairs in his best James Bond stance. He's wandering down there for quite awhile, making sure to check all three levels of the house, and comes back emptyhanded - no rapists or murderers in sight. He says, "I think it must have been a squirrel jumping on the roof."

Part III of Crazy Happenings
Just last night, I hop in the tub, and as the water's running I think I hear the phone ring, which is nothing new since I usually think I hear the phone ring when the bath water is running. I don't know what it is, my ears must get confused with the sound of the water because I always think I hear this ringing in the background when the water's running.

So, I ruled out the phone ringing and then I start to hear thumping, like someone coming up the stairs, which is pretty much impossible since Brandon is away for the night and Kaydn Rye is in bed. It could be Gertie but it sounds more like a two-legged creature than a four-legged mutt. At first I ignore it, still soaking in the bubble bath, and then it keeps happening, so I shut the water off, grab a towel and look out the windows of the bathroom and the bedroom. There's not even a car parked on the street, so it isn't a slamming car door. There's nothing more I can do about it, and if someone was trying to break in, Gertie would be going wild downstairs, so I sit back in the tub, still in the dark from shutting off the lights to look out the window.
Once I get out of the tub I go downstairs to shut off the television and turn out the lights, when I decide Jay Leno is worth watching for ten minutes before I go to bed. As I'm sitting there I hear distant thumping noises, and then Gertie starts to perk up. I think, praise G-d, I'm not the only one who hears this. She continues to listen, and then gets up and faces the door. But after a couple minutes of uneventfullnes, Gertie plops herself down on the rug again. I come to the conclusion that I will do the same and I plop myself in bed.